Day 1 Intention Setting

I rarely do this sort of thing at Christmas. I’m often too busy running about, preparing, and organizing as many are. This year it will be a quiet Christmas and I’m an entrepreneur, so I get to decide when my breaks are. I decided I needed a long, quiet break for reflection, strengthening, realignment, and being honest about all the things I let myself get away with.

I think I was told somewhere along the line in my life, or I took on the belief that if I was good at something then I should just "know". Not super logical I would have to practice in order to actually be good. So if you remember from school, without effort there was a certain level you could achieve. If you wanted 70 or Bs, you probably needed to do some work. And 80s required exponentially more, 90s exponentially more than that! So decide what grade you want (only you are marking this) and do that level of work for it.

What you need:

1)        Time. Seems obvious enough and really, it doesn’t have to be hours. Even 30 minutes has value. But it may need saying that you want to give it your full attention. Especially if you are someone like me who likes to do a bunch of things at the same time (I watch TV AND play games at the same time, or want to read while I exercise, etc – all about Tony Robbins’ NET – no extra time).

Doing stuff simultaneously is a way of numbing and avoiding unpleasant feelings. As much as this is about getting what you want and finding joy, a bit of discomfort must be waded through before you get there. The quality of the outcome for the 12 days is predicated on this first simple step.

2)        Something to take notes with. Preference for a pen and paper but me, I don’t like writing (too slow!) so I tend to dictate and get AI to transcribe it for me and then edit a bit after. But whatever suits you. I do have a few sheets to share for some of the exercises, but nothing is mandatory.

3)        Attention. I don’t just mean paying attention to the work. I mean paying attention to your discomfort and feelings. The sudden urge to snack, surf, shop, look something up, go clean something, talk to someone, or pet the cat, are all signs that you are AVOIDING discomfort. The discomfort could be boredom (you don’t think it’s important, so you want to do something with a bigger dopamine hit) or it’s something you don’t want to think about. For me, it often comes up when working on my business. I love coaching, but not so much with the marketing and content creation. Even writing workbooks like this one – You have no idea how many snacks and naps went into the making of this.

4)        Mindset. It isn’t going to be a great experience if you are upset, angry, fearful, bored etc. So before each session, I am going to offer mindset reset exercises. They are physical sensation-based and proven scientifically to calm the limbic system (fight or flight) and activate the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) which is responsible for creativity, logic, empathy and other positive emotions. It’s like putting your brain in neutral before you start.

Additionally, there is no such thing as perfect in this exercise. The only way to fail is to not do it. Having said that, set in your mind what grade you would want to give yourself at the end for your effort. 80%? 70? Decide now what you would have to do to get that grade. i.e. show up for 15 minutes twice per day and do the work? Not let yourself get distracted when discomfort comes? Decide how you want to show up for this and don’t let yourself off the hook.

Ok with that in mind – and maybe review these points before each session – let’s get started. 

First those PFC exercises I spoke of. Do not skip this. This is as or more important than the other stuff.  

The average adult attention span is about 8 seconds so you will likely need to bring your mind back frequently from wandering off. Don’t worry. It’s normal.

Today is simple. Take 15 minutes to look back at the year. Invite your mind to remember all the things you forgot about.

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Set a timer for 2 minutes. And for those 2 minutes, let your attention shift away from your thoughts and focus on the physical. Focus on your hands - touch one hand with the other, and notice all the physical sensations. Feel all the soft spots and lines, what they feel like to your touch. Look at your hands and notice all the lines and bumps. Your mind will wander away, but just bring it back gently and keep going until the end of 2 minutes.

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Today's Reflections and Actions

Reflection: Look back through your calendar of 2024. Remember all the things you did, and things that you didn't accomplish - no judgment! Take notes.

• People you met,

• celebrations,

• good things that happened,

• things you learned,

• ways you contributed.

  
  

What stops you from taking the time to do this for yourself regularly? What are you telling yourself (this is silly, I’m too busy, I’ll do it later, I don't need it, etc.)? Is it true? What is it costing you to not reflect and plan? What would the benefit be?

Today we’re going to first put time into our calendars for the 12 days. I would suggest that even if you don’t know exactly what time you will have free, put it in early in the morning and keep moving it forward if you are busy when your notification comes up. 

I’ll leave you with 2 quotes:

“All you need to know to change anything is A) You’re never going to feel like it – You’re never going to feel ready to start that business, or to have that hard conversation. You are never going to feel like getting out of bed and doing the hard things. We are designed to stay safe and comfortable.

So if you know you are never going to feel like it AND NO ONE is coming to save you, it’s up to you. You’re not a kid anymore. Many of us are waiting to be picked. By who? You can become the kind of person who is so in tune with the values that you have, and what you actually want, that when feelings rise up, you can choose to act however you want despite them. Your feelings aren’t a choice. Your behavior and thoughts are always a choice.”  Mel Robbins

"How you show up here is how you show up everywhere" Suzanne Evans